Today is day 12 of stims and I feel like a walking giant sack of ovaries. I've been feeling them more and more over the past three days as an uncomfortable heaviness in my lower abdomen. My monitoring appointment on Sunday was bleh and it tested my ability to keep calm and not let the fears take over. Thankfully this morning was my last monitoring appointment and it was with Dr. Jam. She got me back on track and had me laughing out loud multiple times during the ultrasound. Kind of awkward, but you won't catch me holding back on laughter, ever. I asked her why the follicles are so big if the eggs are so tiny and she said that no one has ever asked that question and it would take her a minute to think about it to BS an educated guess. I think she said something about nature playing a joke on us and then went on further to speculate that perhaps the fluid in the follicle has something to do with helping the egg get to the fallopian tube, because it's not a straight track like a bowling lane, it's more like trying to make a basket in basket ball. So then I added kind of like a propulsion pack? Haha.
She pointed out all the follicles and said it looked like there would be 8-9 good ones if we trigger today for a Thursday retrieval day. I had gotten the impression things had changed on Sunday, but the RE hadn't explained why I went from 14 down to 8-9. Today Dr. Jam showed me that there are a group of 5 on my left ovary that are behind in growth and are only at 11-12mm, where as the other 8-9 are at ~16-18mm. It's not that I'm super disappointed I have fewer follicles, but when I didn't understand what was going on it made me feel confused and scared. I am beyond grateful to have 8 healthy mature follicles and relieved that Dr. Jam was able to show me and explain. She told me that we could wait a day to trigger to see if the 5 would catch up, but that it might compromise the quality of the 8-9 leading follicles and the leads are usually the best quality. We talked about what to expect on retrieval day and also talked about transfer day. She asked if I thought any more about how many embryos we want to transfer and I would love to transfer one super high quality embryo, but will consider transferring two if we don't have many and they are struggling to make it.
I've got more to write out to process it all, but it's time to head out for acupuncture. More later.