I woke up feeling renewed, despite suffering from awful cramps, which I suppressed with ibuprofen and some vaporized marijuana with my French toast, quite the abnormal and funny picture at the breakfast table. Having no family here we spent Thanksgiving at a friend's house and had an absolutely smashing time consuming loads of food and booze. It was adults only and a little retreat from fertility sadness as none of the attendees were in the know about our fertility struggles and there was no talk of babies. It was so much fun. All the food was 100% homemade, my friend even got the turkey from a farm and had to go to the farm to slaughter and pluck the feathers herself. I think I want to do that someday. Has anyone read Animal Vegetable Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver- there is a chapter in there all about the sad story of commercially raised turkeys and how to slaughter one yourself. It doesn't appear that I took any decent pictures of the food, but here is the beautiful table with fancy China and one of J and I boozing it up (yummy, bubbly champagne).
So today I start taking the letrozole, which I hadn't really given much thought until I was standing at the pharmacy counter reading over the three page info sheet and my heart started beating really fast. I can't believe I am going to take a medication that my body does not need. I never take prescription medications and honestly can't remember the last time I took something other than ibuprofen (or marijauna or Chinese herbs). I am scared. I am so sensitive to everything and I don't know how my body is going to react to this. I don't want to suffer horrible side effects. Please oh please let it gently stimulate my ovaries to produce a few beautiful follicles with minimal disruption to increase the targets for J's monster (teatrozoospermia) sperm. I don't have much hope for this cycle, but I am thankful that we can test out the waters with a medicated IUI before diving into IVF and even with little hope there is still a chance that this might work for us. I haven't decided if we will do another IUI in January or if we will do IVF with ICSI as soon as possible when our insurance kicks in January 1st. I guess I am getting a little ahead of myself, but I have to emotionally prepare myself if this cycle doesn't give us our BFP, which it looks like we will find out in the days before Christmas. Super good or super awful.